Lockdown Leading To Discord? A Wedding Counselor Addresses Your Queries!

So a lockdown sounds very good in theory initially- you don't have to go out, can snooze a lot more than usual, and can of course binge watch your favourite shows and pick up your hobbies which you never thought you would ever have the time for. But when it comes down to it, well, not everyone seems to be enjoying it or making the most of it. Probably because of the 'forced' nature of the lockdown, everything might not be as rosy as you pictured- there might be issues arising, with small little things leading to bickering and arguing. Couples, even newly married ones are not immune to this, and we asked you to tell us about the issues you are facing, which were answered by an expert!

Image via Sowmya Photography★ 5

Here to show us how to release anxiety and deal with the stress brought upon our relationships and families during this quarantine is Shradha WTB, the Wedding Shakti. She is an accomplished relationship coach with success in using her self designed F.A.I.T.H. System to strengthen relationships within the corporate and personal world. She is author of the Amazon Best-Selling Book, Witness The Breakthrough and has been coined the esteemed, “Wedding Shakti” after using her relationship strengthening skills to help anxiety-filled couples navigate the stressful journey of the path to marriage.

So over to Shradha as she guides us through the common issues, and takes on personal questions as well.

How Lockdown has affected Relationships

Shradha says, "Prior to COVID, we were all occupied with our busy lives. Work, nights out, family gatherings, and time with friends all masked many issues within relationships. Now with most of our distractions removed, couples are left occupied with the true realities of their relationship. Many couples have not developed proper communication and this inability to fully express is leading to bottled emotions, aggression, and conflict."

"The issues couples currently face existed before COVID; people were simply reluctant to make a change. This global event has awakened many individuals and has reminded us that life is short and tomorrow is not promised. The value of the shortness of life has hit them. Couples are naturally gravitating towards facing their issues in order to enjoy the short time they are given with their partner."

Q. My fiancé and I are forced to have a long distance relationship now despite being in the same city and I’m finding it hard to cope. 

"As with most problems, things could always be worse. Many people around the world are not fortunate enough to have someone to love even from a far. Focus on how grateful you are to have some to love and to be loved by someone and witness the distance bring you and your partner closer than ever."

Q. The whole pandemic situation has me pretty stressed and depressed, and its affecting my relationship with my partner, who doesn’t seem to be very affected by this.

"It’s amazing to hear that your partner isn’t affected much by the pandemic. The stress you feel doesn’t come from the pandemic itself, it comes from the thoughts you keep in your mind. Speak with your partner about how he feels about the pandemic and try to spot the difference in perspective. It will not be easy to change your perspective, but it is necessary to change your perspective if it is causing you to stress. Happiness and depression both live in your thoughts. Find those depressing thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts."

Q. I have no personal space! We get in each other’s face too much and have started resenting it. This has led to a lot of fights.

"Keep in mind that although you may not be able to create much physical personal space, you CAN create mental personal space. Set time aside to read a book on your own, watch a movie on your own, indulge in a hobby, etc. Shift your perspective on the idea of personal space and realize that there is room for personal space. Once you see this, enjoy your personal space!"

Q. I miss my old routine. With my partner being at home and no domestic help, there’s just so much more to do! I feel like I spend the whole day in the kitchen!

"No one enjoys doing chores; especially if you’re not used to doing them! Firstly, you have to accept and come to terms that this new reality requires a little extra house work. Do not fight this fact. Accept it. Next, try to find ways to make the chores exciting. Record the amount of time it takes to wash the dishes in one setting and keep track of who has the quickest times. Winner at the end of the week receives a massage! Turn dinner into a cooking show or blast your favorite playlist in the background. The key is to find a way to turn these mundane tasks into fun events."

Q. We are both at home, but somehow life seems like a rut right now. Everything seems boring and dull, and that’s really taking a toll on our relationship. 

"It’s going to take a conscious effort to bring excitement into your daily routine. Sit down with your partner and come up with fun ideas to do together. Pick out board games to play with each other with your own custom rules for winning/losing, have an art night where you both draw/sketch/paint on the same piece of paper; create a masterpiece together (or just scribble over the page together, either way, do it together). Get creative with your ideas and commit to going through with the events. You’ll be able to create fun moments in midst of these quirky games."

Image via Lights On Creations★ 4.9

If you are going through the same emotions, we are sure these have struck a chord and possibly even help you feel better. If you're looking for more personalised guidance, then consider wedding coaching to sail through these tough times. 

What is Wedding Coaching?

Wedding coaching provides couples with the tools necessary to navigate the stressful task of not only planning a wedding but also managing relationships with new family members, wedding vendors, your partner, and yourself. Wedding coaching helps you to answer the most important questions in your relationship. Are we ready for marriage? How will we strengthen our marriage for years to come after the wedding? How will this bond help to improve our lives? With so much external stress and uncertainty, now more than ever, wedding coaching is a must for all relationships who wish to survive this crisis with ease and calm.

Stress-reducing tips for couples in isolation together

• Resolve conflicts before the day ends.
• Do not spend more than 48 hours on a dispute.
• Observe the news, do not absorb the news. Negativity and never-ending rounds of alarming facts will never cease to leave you empty, anxious, and hopeless.
• Lastly, try not to focus on your own stress, yet focus on the stress of your partner. We tend to forget that our partner may be just as stressed as we are and disregarding this fact can lead to resentment. Focus on each other and you’ll be sure to stay at ease together.
• Reviewing my free F.A.I.T.H. System guide with your partner can also be a great way to keep the tension down during these stressful times. "Download here.” 

Her courses will help you will learn invaluable stress-relieving techniques and gain a refreshing perspective on the current pandemic and the bright future ahead. Sign up here.